Update on life

So i thought it would be cool to do a update on life. Most importantly life with the boys, the ex's and lets not forget; Kieran C.

Luke h.
Kieran c.
Scott kelly.
Ashley f.
Jack s.
Dan d.

Luke Andrew hold. Well we have just missed our 4 year anniversary. It has been such a long time of not speaking to him i think the last time was last year. Yeah, it was the barge pole status and me going mental at him. Happy days. He will always be the first boy i foolishly loved. Do i hate him? No, i really dont. Do i wish i done it differently? Of course, but without him i probably wouldn't of had my other relationships.

Kieran Clark. Wow. No doubt about it that hes still firmly on the scene, he still sends me snapchats at night and sometimes.. I give in. I tried it the other week and that spark had gone, i could have been speaking to anyone. I realised that a very big chunk of this blog is about kieran and how much he did affect me. You know, I'm still at that stage where he could come up to me, ask me out and i would scream yes in his face and send a snapchat of us holding hands. Not like I've thought of this or anything. Without him i wouldnt have met jack or even had the confidence of liking dan. I do still love him, I've loved him since september 2009. Thats along time.

Scott kelly. Grrr. Not lying, i did like him and i was on the verge of loving him. But for once i was on the receiving end of all these lies. The fact he had a girl friend for one! He was a nice lad, i havnt spoke to him for a very long time but he did try and add me on facebook. After be vanished and blocked me, can i just add. I didnt accept and then he blocked me again. Wow. But, if i can do a year without him and be perfectly fine. I think im okay.

Ashley Farnsworth. Hahahaha. Right. Where do i begin? This relationship was honestly the worst one yet. It was a bomb waiting to go off. He didnt like the fact that i was 16 and slept with as many people as i have. Opps. He also didnt like the fact that i had a fucking social life whilst he stroked his bike (i mean literally, not even his dick). Then one day whilst i was in art, he sent me a text saying he knew i was cheating on him because thats why i wouldnt meet him. Not the fact i have social anxiety or anything. The cunt! He also goes out with the girl who dates nearly all of my ex's. I hope they get clap and have a awful life. Cunts.

Jackkkkk! Awh man, i do miss him! He was a pain in the arse but he was funny. The skype calls, the arguing, the no i am not going to visit you and nurse your dick. Is he popped up right now i am so up for falling in love with him again. Defiantly! Hes up there with kieran and dan for the sence of love.

Which brings me nicely on to dan. Dan lee Dixon. The first ever person I've ever met within the first 2 weeks. Was he stupid? Was i stupid? Or lets be straight here, were we both abit stupid? I love him a silly amount. I do. Im sorry friends, family, im sorry dan but i love you. You broke my heart to a point where all i wanted to do was cry. Not even kieran could sort me out and i knew karl really wanted to come and punch you. With me, any boy had 3 goes (apart from kieran whos on his 13th)and you wrecked it on the last one. I honestly dont know if i could keep on doing this. Im turning 18 soon and very soon you're turning 22. Do you know how many panic attacks, sleepless nights or even how many friends i have risked for you? I would never hate you, judge you or speak nasty about you. Just right now, im not very happy with you. Last night i had a knife, but i wasnt going to let a boy ruin my legs and my heart. Not this time. Maybe its time for us both to realise that we are never going to work, ever.

So there it is everyone! My update on the boys. Yeah.

Mwah

X x x