Really? Again? Oh no.

Basically I Havnt blogged for a while and while I've been away, kets just say LOTS of things have happened. I got a job, at greggs and I start tomorrow, I've taken off my prom nails (going to do a post on that later) bought some shoes and went to 2 parties! My anxiety was on a high, but I finally beat it, well for now.

But the news we are always waiting to hear about. Me and Kieran. So the situation was that he deleted Ashleigh, so I assumed everything was fine but he was still being off with me, I thought Fuck it, two can play at this game. So I deleted him. On one of my posts I go on about power, this time I felt sad. I didn't want to power I wanted him to make up his mind. I got on with my life and I felt good, but then I done a stupid thing what, made me feel so stupid and angry. I checked everyone's bestfriends on snapchat and suprise suprise zoes 2nd bestfriend was Kieran. Obviously I couldn't see his bestfriends to see if she was on but it wasn't the point. I just felt really angry that she could do that. For God sake eveyone knows I love him! But the thing that made me even more angry was that she was hiding something at her garden party, she knew I knew. Bitch.

As you can all guess and know I write things down when I am angry, I wasn't angry at him I was angry at her.

I'm making this blog post so every time I think about him, I can just re read this.

Kieran C, he's literally been my life for the past 5 years, but we'll narrow it down to the last 7 month's. It started off as a snap chat, one single snap chat, just a friendly hi. I didn't realise that, one single message could take over my life. It really has changed me. I had lost all of my confidence and I wasn't in a nice place, he made me realise what I had, he made me bring back the confidence, we would argue over his weed and he would argue to me over Zoe. But without him I couldn't have been the person I was at prom. But all short term things come to a end. And ours did. 7 months is a long time, but it was 7 months I wouldn't change. How can I hate someone who has made me into a better person? That's just silly and stupid.

I don't feel jealous, I feel honoured to have the pleasure of speaking to him, he's not a bad person like everyone warned me of, he's just got issues and fell into a hole. He made friends with people who didn't help, but he's a good person, I know that more than anyone. We are just different and we want different things in life.

Kieran, I'll never hate you. Thank you x

How can I ever be angry at the person who made me? That's stupid. Anyways. He snapchatted me (my privacy settings let anyone snap me apparently) I added him anddddd.... nothing, I can't do it again.

I better get some sleep because work! Wish me luck😋

Mwah
X x x

The undecided 16 year old

People always say that I have my life plan sorted and I have a clear view on what I want in life. This is so untrue.

I chop and change what I want as a career all of the time. I had my heart set on getting a apprenticeship for gen 2.. but I didn't get in. I had my heart set on a apprenticeship down near Birmingham... but my mam didn't have enough money to take me to my interview. I kind of realised, apprenticeships just wasn't for me, I gave up. I got into college and great, I planned for that and was ready, told everyone and..... I looked at apprenticeships again, I wasn't letting 2 fails spoiling my future, I knew I wasn't going to get all of them, I was just disheartened. My eye clicked on one and... it looks so good. But this time I researched everything, accommodation, travel, just general things to see if I could. And I think I could... yeah, my budget may be tight and I'm probably not going to be able to come home every month. I'm growing up. And if I change my mind soon, that's okay.

I also change my mind about boys allll of the time. Kieran blah blah blah, over, d one, sorted, byeeee! I change what I look for, what they are like, that they do, how they act, age, appearance. I change my mind, but that's okay.

Its okay to have second thoughts, it's okay to be unsure about your future, them feelings are okay. I'm young, you're young, really, you're never too old. Change your mind, do what makes it you happy. Because, all that matters to you is you.

Mwah
X x x

PROM!

So its started! Countdown to prom started in year 7... I mean the real one. 2 days and something hours to go!! On this post I'm going to be talking about my prep and what I'm getting done.

Nails
Obviously first, because every one knows my obsession with nails! As my dress is purple I'm having purple shellac with a subtle glitter tip, I want to keep it classy but wacky... yeah. Then on my thumb I'm having the union Jack because of my shoes (I'll explain later). I think I'm keeping them slightly pointy, I SONT want to claw every one haha. I've been looking at designs but they all seem abit too jejsjjejs (too promish in Anna language)

The face of doom
Any girl knows (and boys) the last thing you want when you have a special occasion coming up is a face full of face demons... yep that's right, I have loadsss. I've been exfoliating and cleaning and using face washes and it's just got worse. Luckily for me, I'm having my make up done for me by a professional sooo, fingers crossed she can tame them and hide away the hideous things. My eye make up is going to be blacks, gold and purple, basically a smoky eye.. I hate eye make up. I don't want my make up to look too heavy on my face... like I look like a high class prostitute (yep, I just uses that song on my blog). Everything natural, just calm down the spots.

Hair
Basically tho hair style I wanted, every one is getting (great). Mine a just a low middle bun with loads of plaits and stuff going on... Yeah I'm sure it will look fab! With lots of hair spray and hope! I also hate hair... Nails are my thing.

Accessories
I'm wearing a hair slide in my hair, its very classy (I wasn't allowed one with a unicorn on... I cried a little when they said no). Ans the normal neckalace and earrings... the usual prom stuff. But that's about as normal as I get. I had my turn now! Shoesss. I was sick and bored of people wearing the same shoes, I hate being like every one else... dare to be different. So anyways, my shoes are iron fist union Jack heels and they are amazing! I love them! I wanted the bag to match, but to my horror, it was a purse! Rule number 4 in the Anna rule book. A bag should be present at every stage of life (including prom). I also hate them little clutch bag things what fit 5 pound in and a packet if fags... no, Anna doesn't do that. Anna need a biggg bag! So Anna did get a big bag. Its not as wonderful as I imagined but it's silver and big. Boringgg.

So basically that is it... oh my dress? Wait and see.

Mwah
X x x

People think wrong

People think that my life is really exciting, I suppose what you read on here make a it sound like that... but it isn't. I show you a tiny part of my life. I pick out the good parts to show you.

I talk about my friend a lot, the fact that I find it hard to have things in common with them. I've sais this and I'll say it again, I've grew up way before anyone else. When they say "should we go town" I think of alcohol and dancing on table tops, not walking round town bored. They sit in their little groups and talk shit while I sit alone, snapchatting someone. That isn't exciting.

I also talk about boys quite a lot, I did at one point have 2 boys at the same time (I've worded that bad for a reason, I need it to sound bad) I literally had my fall back and my man, but my man let me down... I didn't want the same as him. This happened 3 times. 3 times I've fell out with someone because... we'll they just don't make me happy. I've always had my fall back though, I've always had that tiny bit if control and power to press a button and BAM! Back to normal. But really, this isn't exciting, it's degrading. Knowing someone uses you for 10 minutes then "done😉" this isn't exciting either.

This blog wasn't to hurt anyone, it was to express my feelings with you lot, to let you know how I feel. I know one day one of my friends are going to come across this and think "what a bitch" but there the type of people I don't want to be friends with... because it's 2014 and you get judged. More than you will ever know. You'll get judged for your hair to what bra you wear. Do what you want. Be who you want. Then it might be exciting, maybe.

Mwah
X x x