Basically I Havnt blogged for a while and while I've been away, kets just say LOTS of things have happened. I got a job, at greggs and I start tomorrow, I've taken off my prom nails (going to do a post on that later) bought some shoes and went to 2 parties! My anxiety was on a high, but I finally beat it, well for now.
But the news we are always waiting to hear about. Me and Kieran. So the situation was that he deleted Ashleigh, so I assumed everything was fine but he was still being off with me, I thought Fuck it, two can play at this game. So I deleted him. On one of my posts I go on about power, this time I felt sad. I didn't want to power I wanted him to make up his mind. I got on with my life and I felt good, but then I done a stupid thing what, made me feel so stupid and angry. I checked everyone's bestfriends on snapchat and suprise suprise zoes 2nd bestfriend was Kieran. Obviously I couldn't see his bestfriends to see if she was on but it wasn't the point. I just felt really angry that she could do that. For God sake eveyone knows I love him! But the thing that made me even more angry was that she was hiding something at her garden party, she knew I knew. Bitch.
As you can all guess and know I write things down when I am angry, I wasn't angry at him I was angry at her.
I'm making this blog post so every time I think about him, I can just re read this.
Kieran C, he's literally been my life for the past 5 years, but we'll narrow it down to the last 7 month's. It started off as a snap chat, one single snap chat, just a friendly hi. I didn't realise that, one single message could take over my life. It really has changed me. I had lost all of my confidence and I wasn't in a nice place, he made me realise what I had, he made me bring back the confidence, we would argue over his weed and he would argue to me over Zoe. But without him I couldn't have been the person I was at prom. But all short term things come to a end. And ours did. 7 months is a long time, but it was 7 months I wouldn't change. How can I hate someone who has made me into a better person? That's just silly and stupid.
I don't feel jealous, I feel honoured to have the pleasure of speaking to him, he's not a bad person like everyone warned me of, he's just got issues and fell into a hole. He made friends with people who didn't help, but he's a good person, I know that more than anyone. We are just different and we want different things in life.
Kieran, I'll never hate you. Thank you x
How can I ever be angry at the person who made me? That's stupid. Anyways. He snapchatted me (my privacy settings let anyone snap me apparently) I added him anddddd.... nothing, I can't do it again.
I better get some sleep because work! Wish me luck😋
Mwah
X x x
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