Power of I

The title is abit confusing because this blog is about me having no power. I hate making decisions because I always think I'll pick the wrong one, I am always the person who gives out power but never gets.

But that's changed, I had the power to do something what in a way... has changed my life. I deleted someone off snapchat, this person wasn't a person I really wanted in my life, it wasn't... I literally spoke to him out of boredom. I was his fall back and he was mine. 6 months spent, but 6 months spent learning. I don't get over boys, apart from Luke. Normally I cry for a few days and then forget about them. This time I didn't even do that.

I looked at it as, I was in the middle of two people, two people that I had nothing in common woth apart from we were all speaking to him.

I have exciting plans in the future and 2 whole years at college to do! New people, new Anna, New start.

You've got to find the power, to be powerful.

Mwah
X x x

UPDATE

I thought I'd bring you up to date with Anna. Unfortunately it isn't good.

Yesterday I went to the river with my friends. I found out I just don't have that connection with them anymore, I don't like the same stuff as them and I don't find their jokes funny. I've grew up. I don't get why I should have to fake being happy when I'm not, I don't get why I should have to fake enjoying myself when I'm not. This is just another reason why I need new friends.

But I havnt been all bad, I've organised some days what make me get up in the morning, if I didn't, I would still be in bed. Tomorrow I'm going with hollie, with her I can open up, its strange because we are different, but it works. It's probably because everyone is different to me, I'm a strange breed.

Is anyone else feeling like this? Comment below if you are, know one has to go through this alone, not even you😊

Mwah
X x x

Nails and hair stuff

So, if you're from the UK you will have probably heard of Appleby horse fair. I go every year, without fail. But this year as been abit different, I'm going on a Sunday not a Saturday. So to get ready for the fair I've done my nails and hair.

Nails
On my thumb and the finger next to the pinky I have a "minty green wonder" on. Be aware I'd you use this please use a under coat to protect your nails (I have a blog post on how to do this) u also found I had to mix it quite well and but 2 layers on. On the rest of my fingers I have a "sky blue blue blue" again, please prepare your nails and I found this needed 3 layers. I then used my dotting tools to create 3 small different coloured flowers, I dotted then dragged to make a petal effect. Then to make it feel more summery, I put a green glittery what I bought from primark (beat glitter I've had in a while) on my thumb and that other mysterious finger and a soft and hard grain glitter on the rest☺

Hair
Because my hair is medium length, I decided in was sick of curling or straightening my hair. So I came across a old friend of mine. The tresseme hair boosting styled. It smooths, volumises and styles in seconds! So I'm going to do this so I limit the damage to my hair from normally back combing😛

Hope you enjoy this blog, please feel free to comment on anything else you want to get featured on the blogs!

Mwah
X x x

R.A.D

Do a lot of you guys have been talking about what makes me...well me. Youvr been asking questions what I've been putting off, and to be honest the whole point of this blog was to get things off my chest.

The title is R.A.D because these are the words I work with everyday. These letters help me through my anxiety attacks and make things a lot more doable.

Reach out.
You need help. You know you do but you're scared, I know. I know you feel shitty and scared and I know that you feel the whole world is against you. But really it isn't. You're in a place what isn't very nice and you need support. So even if it's the bin man, tel someone. Tell someone how you feel. Once you've broken Down that wall, you're gonna feel so much better. I promise. But don't stop there! Tell a professional, don't be ashamed, it's their job to help you. Get the help you deserve! One day, everything will be back to normal...one day.

Achievement
Set yourself challenges. Not really big ones, but little ones. Like 'i'm going to walk past this group of people' or  'i'm going to go out tomorrow' at first it's scary and you're probably going to try and persuade yourself out of it, but you need to start pushing yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Stop and smell the roses. Enjoy yourself! If you're scared of walking past big groups of people, walk past them with people so you feel safer, there is always ways round things.

Determination
So you're in bed, the curtains are closed and you've been in your room all summer holidays. Why? People you're scared to go outside. For whatever reason you are. You have one week left, one week until exams start.

Set yourself a goal. Your goal being to go down to the beach with your friends because you know, if you bail on them again, that's it. They will give up on you. Who wants that? Every time you feel like you want to go to your room, to bed. Think. Think about that goal. Make everything you do up until you reach your goal and the goal. This goal is a step onto normality, people will see that you are okay.. lie to them if you really want. Say you are fine! They know you're not, but they won't be awkward around you.

So remember, there is help, you just need to ask for it.

Be safe,
Be happy,
Be free

Mwah
Xx