I havnt wrote on here for a while and thats basically because i ended 2014 getting very drunk. No, alot has went on but today as the 1st january is my first brand new page in my 365 day planner.
My new year resolution is to lie less and blog more. I spent the early hours of this morning speaking to dan and just talking and I thought everything was okay. I even said I love you. Then I spent the whole of the 2nd obsessing over him when something very bad was going on... Dan was getting in a relationship... To a different girl. I found out that night by Facebook... My heart was once broken again and I felt the same pain I'd been covering up. I feel used and hurt and like no matter what I can do I can never get him back. I seen a quote today what said 'if it still hurts and you still think about it don't give up fighting' should I fight? Then I had the person I've been avoiding since the incident... He face booked me on Christmas Day and I didn't answer then he added me on snapchat and I didn't answer and then he whatsapped me and I took ages to answer, but I did. I could feel myself falling again and I knew I had to catch myself before it was too late. People don't understand that Kieran no matter how old I am or how hurt I am or how drunk or who I'm with, none of them things matter because to me Kieran is my Kieran. Kieran Clark is the person I will always compare my relationships too and he will always be at the back of my mind. No matter what. He is such a big part of my 2014 and I'd be stupid if I was going to try and forget about it. People can tell me all the stories they want and tell me I wasn't worth it but to me, Kieran Clark was worth every single sleepless night and every single heartache because I got the chance to spend 11 months with an amazing guy. Not a lot of people can say that. I kicked off my new year the way I intended to and that was drunk and single. 2015 let's have ya.
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