Do you ever feel like you exist but people don't realise your full potential, like you're just there, sitting, standing but not doing anything? Just listening into people conversations making comments in your mind? Do you ever fall asleep thinking about scenarios what you wish would happen? Do you ever listen to music or your favourite song and think you're playing at a music festival? Do you ever think about your future? Like how you are going to look and speak and live and who your friends are? Do you ever panic because you think that your whole life is a fail and you're going to fail and everything you do? Do you ever think that you make people unhappy all if the time and no matter how hard to try to fit in you dont? Do you ever get ready for a party after weeks of crying over what shoes to go with which dress that you decide 5 minutes before it starts you're not going? All because your make up didn't go right or because someone is going to be there you don't like? Do you ever go up to your bedroom and just think for hours about nothing, just thinking and listening to your breathing? Do you ever think about the day you die? Who's going to be there and how you are going to die. Asking yourself if it's going to be a long process or sudden? Do you ever just feel like these breathes you take, the blinks you blink and the tears you cry are worthless? Because I do.
I feel horrible, all the time, every day. 7 days a week I look at myself and want to cry and change everything about myself. But I can't, deep down I know I'm perfect, I am unperfectly perfect and that's okay.
Be who you wanna, who you wanna you gotta be.
Mwah x
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